Dirty McFilthy

Controversy!

Derby Names: Not Ready For Prime Time

Back in the day, derby names were supposed to be fun and quirky. Fun – remember when derby was fun? Names were simply a clever twist on normal sports nicknames - not an opportunity to tell the world how much you love pot or Jager.

Aww, come on. People seem to think that puns are clever until they involve something obscene or scatological. You can't tell me that a name like "Georgia O'Queefe" isn't fucking hysterical. Of course, when I was thinking about this I was all like, "Oh please, obscene puns are still funny! It's not like some skater just went ahead and named herself 'Poop.'" And then I almost laughed myself into a stroke over the notion of a skater called "Poop." Maybe I should just let the big girls handle this discussion.

Continuing in spite of myself, though--

[Skate names are] not a chance to tell us how big your wiener is or that you want to rip a girl apart with it. Seriously, boys and girls…

Well, yeah. The post mentions one beyond-the-pale skate name (and one that's registered to a man, I might add): Ray Pugh. I know derby isn't exactly a hugbox safe space, but fuck.

(Note: I'm told the player in question has dropped the "Ray" part, and now goes by "Mr. Pugh." Progress?)

Now here's where you might be saying, "Sin, you big goddamn hypocrite. If you think obscenity is OK in a skatename, why are you throwing a shitfit over a little old word like 'rape?'" Well, let me tell you why, reader. I don't have a problem with (consensual) sex or bodily functions, but I kind of have a fucking problem with men coming into a traditionally female space and taking a name that evokes a form of sexual violence that is most often used to hurt and control women.

Even the name of the great Amanda Jamitinya gave me pause the first time I heard it. Can I safely assume that it's referring to consensual-but-rough sex? Am I overthinking this? Probably.

Anyway, Tara Armov brought up the skate names issue in her own blog:

•Skater names. This is a touchy subject. I myself love my skate name. But there are some names out there that aren't...family friendly. Now, as non-mainstream as this sport is, it's also a sport that's gaining popularity in Jr. leagues across the country. It behooves leagues to not have skate names such as Slitty McCuntergash if they have a Jr. league going on. Or if they have all-ages games. Or both.

I had another point, but AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA SLITTY MCCUNTERGASH. Hahahahahahahahahahaaaaaa. Uh, what were we talking about? Sorry, I think I may be holding back the legitimization of derby.